|My travelling boots|
|By Leila Fanner|
Leila and I met online early this year when we were both taking part in a course called my ExtRAWdinary diet run by the Raw Food expert Karen Knowler. What first drew me to Leila was the beautiful image she had put up as her profile picture on our forum and I discovered she was a talented artist. From there a commission followed and a blossoming new pen pal friendship. As she lives in South Africa we have never met but have shared much of ourselves and our lives over the last year. She arrived in my life at the perfect time. I am a great believer in the power we have to manifest the perfect people into our lives to assist us further on our journey. Her wise words and support have meant a great deal to me and continue so to do. Also her creativity and her wonderful blog http://www.issimyafrika.com/blogs/leila were also hugely inspiring to me and awoke a personal longing to create something for myself.
As is often the case it is often a deeply personal challenge in life that awakens you to your life purpose, some describe it as an initiation. For me most recently it was infertility. There are many who would question why, if the desire to be a mother was so strong, I hadn’t try to make it happen before my forties.... yes I accept they may have a point! However we all have own personal challenges to overcome and our own personal life theme. My own big challenge, I believe, has been about the search for real connection and a sense of being truly authentic. This has instructed much of my life until today.
Me and my Daddy
My journey began with the ultimate disconnection of adoption and then years of searching for who I was, where I was supposed to be and what I was supposed to be doing whilst I was here! This personal quest took in a spiritual searching, years of travel, a variety of jobs and a change in career from acting to holistic therapy, different long-term relationships and a personal journey to find my birth mother, followed by the anguish of discovering she had sadly passed away three years before. Yes it has at times been a bit of an‘emotional rollercoaster’, as I believe the saying goes (!), with some deep profound lows and also some extraordinary blissful highs. Eventful and exciting at times and then at times mind numbingly frustrating and boring ...but always an adventure! However until recent years and despite always wanting that mother/child connection the situation for settling into motherhood wasn’t there and maybe if I am honest wasn’t what I was really ready for.
I knew that time was against me to fall pregnant but various tests showed it was still a possibility and because I always had an interest in my health and well being I was in a reasonably good state of health. However it was upon the discovery of a book called the 'Fertility Diet' by Sarah Dobbyn that my awakening really began. Suddenly I was a woman possessed and the internet opened up an amazing world I hadn't been aware was blooming out there.
|Leslie Kenton aged 68|
Just to end with another new beginning and new journey, my dream to be a mother hasn't died and I hope to hold my beautiful adopted child in my arms one day soon. As an adopted person myself, adopted by a mother who herself was adopted, adoption actually seems the perfect choice.... and maybe it was meant to be all along.